Maintaining Ties of Kinship with Kafir Parents/Family

The Context

A sister posted to the sub regarding her mother who was deeply Islamophobic and she was afraid her mother would call child services on her if she raised her child as a proper Muslim.

Bear in mind, my advice below pertains to those living in the US at the time of the post. There are countries in the world (including France, Germany, China, etc.) where just raising your family upon Islam is enough for authorities to take your children away. We hear of it happening, may Allah protect the Muslims all over the world. Ameen.

The Advice

Maintaining the ties of kinship is a big deal in Islam; to cut them off is from among the major sins. This is something that most people dismiss very easily but on the Day of Judgement it will be a heavy thing indeed.

See how strongly Allah speaks about the matter:

"Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight."

—Qur’an (Surah Muhammad) 47:22-23

Subhanallah, we even have an example from the time of RasoolAllah (ﷺ) regarding a kafir mother!

Asma bint Abu Bakr (radhiAllah anha) went to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: "My mother (who was a disbeliever) has come to me and she desires to receive a reward from me, shall I keep good relations with her?"

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Yes, keep good relation with her."

—Sahih al-Bukhari 2620

If the following hadith were the only benefit from this action it would be enough for us:

A’ishah (radhiAllah anha) reported: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "The bond of family is suspended from the Throne and it says: Whoever upholds me, Allah will uphold him. Whoever severs me, Allah will sever him."

—Sahih al-Bukhari 5989, Sahih Muslim 2555

From the Seerah of RasoolAllah (ﷺ), we learn that this was also a major character trait of his, that he upheld the ties of kinship.

Upholding family ties doesn’t mean you have to live in each other’s backyards, though. As long as you keep those channels of communication open, it may be that this is enough, in sha’ Allah. So you can visit sometimes, for example. Or you call and check in on her. Take gifts when you visit, or send them to her. Things like that.

I would absolutely not recommend casually cutting off ties with her without speaking to a person of knowledge upon the Sunnah.

As for calling child services, nothing of what Islam enjoins is harmful, rather the opposite, so what would child services be there to do? In a sane world, the parents who let their children drink, commit zina and destroy themselves should be the ones locked up.

Overall, if you’re on the fence about how much to expose your daughter to this corrupted way of thinking in order to maintain kinship, I would definitely recommend speaking to a person of knowledge upon the Sunnah regarding the matter.

And Allah knows best.