Shaking Hands with Non-Mahrems
The Context
A sister (or a troll, in all likelihood, based on their behavior in the comments) made a post on our sub asking if it was worth it to lose out on a lucrative job or first-world citizenship just for refusing to shake hands with the opposite sex.
The post was removed for a number of reasons (including references to callers to misguidance and "mainstream scholars", in addition to a general tone of belittling the commandments of al-Islam).
However, the crux and question of the post was valid so I wanted to address that.
The Breakdown
In modern times, we are valuing a high paying job or comfortable lifestyle as greater than "mere handshake with the opposite gender." However, how did the Prophet of Allah (ﷺ) describe this situation?
It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (ﷺ) said, "For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him."
—Narrated by at-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer 486
In this hadith, we see that in the sight of Allah, it is better for us to suffer major bodily harm and possibly death (which generally occurs when stabbed in the head) than for us to just touch a non-Mahrem, let alone grasping their hand, pumping it a few times and repeating ad infinitum with every Tom, Dick, or Harry. As to what some modern ignorant persons add onto this as restricted to just what is done out of lust—then let them bring forth their proofs and evidences for that statement. Who among the Sahaba (those who learned their religion directly from the Prophet (ﷺ)) came away with that interpretation? Who among the best of people agreed with this reading? Aouthubillahi min as-Saiytaan nirrajeem.
Rather, the Messenger (ﷺ)’s stance on the matter was clear.
It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "I do not shake hands with women."
—Sunan an-Nasa’i 4181, Sunan Ibn Maajah 2874
When we are in our graves and the angels come to us to question us about our life, they will not make sure we lead a comfortable one, or that we made enough money to satisfy our greed or that we affirmed the words of "modern scholars." They will ask us about how well we followed what was revealed to the Prophet (ﷺ). And as for him:
It was narrated by A’ishah (radhiAllah anha), "by Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman"
—Sahih Muslim 1866
An excellent response to the original post pointed out that rather than getting frustrated with the legislation of Allah in this matter, why are we not saving that ire and irritation for the kafiroon who are rejecting job applications and citizenship on the basis of religious discrimination? Is this what the sum total of their democracy and freedom amounts to?
And know, O Muslim, that what they hate and reject is not your unwillingness to shake hands (because they would be perfectly accepting of that under different circumstances, such as a germaphobe, or an autistic person with sensory issues); rather what they reject of you is your Islam.
And never will the Jews or the Christians approve of you until you follow their religion. Say, "Indeed, the guidance of Allah is the [only] guidance." If you were to follow their desires after what has come to you of knowledge, you would have against Allah no protector or helper.
—Qur’an (al-Baqarah) 2:120
If someone forgets or comes with a weakness of imaan in their heart, then the matter is between them and Allah; it is not for us to then make what is haram, halal, as a result.
And Allah knows best.
Additional Resources
Here is some of what has been said on the topic by the people of knowledge: